Years ago, Tommy James and the Shondels had a song entitled " Draggin The Line". There has always been speculation as to what draggin the line meant and I'm not really sure anyone really knows. The reason this song came to my mind this morning was in relation to boundaries .
Boundaries are the cornerstone of our recovery as parents of addicts. They are that "line" we are encouraged to create for ourselves so that we can move forward in our recovery journey. It's great to be able to do this and never falter. However, when you love someone as all of us love our addicts, it is a very hard thing not to "drag the line" from time to time.
I have been reading the blog of a mom who struggles just as I and many of us do with sticking to our boundaries. It's caused her a great deal of heartache recently and I'm sure there are many people out there who just want to tell her " I told you so". While maybe people have told her so but I don't think there is one of us who isn't guilty of "dragging the line" of our boundary because we love the person who just happens to have become an addict. I'm sure no amount of I told you so will equal the pain she feels because she once again dragged her boundary line a little further than she should out of pure love and concern.
I know that there will be many, many times I will do the same. I KNOW it and while I try to be aware of it, I am sure it will still happen because I love my child. Just like there is no one size fits all way for an addict to recover so that is true for their loved ones. We all have to find our own way. If we "drag the line" at times, it's part of our personal learning process and we will move on and figure it out.
My son is an opiate addict. I hope that by sharing my story I can help others heal as I am learning to heal
5 comments:
Sheri,
Boundaries are not solid walls. I always said they are like rope lines. There is the boundary, a line of safety. Just like any rope line, they can be crossed or moved fairly easily but you should always be aware of the consequences from doing so.
We set boundaries when we are ready to and not a moment sooner. There should be no guilt imposed on another when they don't set the boundary in "our timing." It is helpful to share our experiences with each other with no expectation of the person we are sharing with to do things exactly as we think they should. It is their journey.
We set boundaries when we are ready to and not a moment sooner. There should be no guilt imposed on another when they don't set the boundary in "our timing." It is helpful to share our experiences with each other with no expectation of the person we are sharing with to do things exactly as we think they should. It is their journey.
There is a link inside this post that I thought was good regarding boundaries..
http://addictionjournal.net/?p=2689
hope it helps someone out there..
There is a link inside this post that I thought was good regarding boundaries..
http://addictionjournal.net/?p=2689
hope it helps someone out there..
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