Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Up and then down

I was here yesterday
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                                                                                                                          Here this morning

How can one phone conversation do that?????

I am worrying again. My son mentioned in his phone call last night to my husband that he had called an old friend ( my son is in rehab). This friend is a former band mate from the rock group my son was in in high school. Also, back then, a fellow pot smoker. Right away, I am thinking, this is not good. Of course I verbalized it and in turn , my husband did to my son. He promptly hung up on my husband, which just fed my worry more and caused an argument. I am so anxiety-filled right now that I cannot think straight. Why did I have to open my mouth ?
It seems that every step I take forward, I slide back several more with just one little incident. An incident which could be meaningless but with which I start the why?, what if?  and what's he up to ? thinking. Yuck!!!!
                                                                           

10 comments:

Dad and Mom said...

Hello Sheri,

Being the parent of an addict is ful of woulda's, shoulda's and coulda's. Don't beat yourself up.

I am so sorry you are in our little community but I welcome you with open arms because we have ll been there.

It is so easy to react. I found what helped me was to try and think of situations like phone calls and I know it is impossible to think of every circumstance but plan to act and not react. If you must say goodbye with reacting and call back later after you have had a quiet chance to respond privately to his words.

I am going to put a link on my blog to you. There is so much support out there in our online community. I hope it helps you and your husband in dealing with your son.

Dad and Mom said...

Sherri,

Me again, I wrote something today that might apply to how you are feeling. It is posted on my blog, For Love, Not Reward.

Kiz said...

Hi Sheri - as you mentioned in your first post, you are not alone. There are many of us out there. We also received a similar phone call last night. This is a difficult journey, and it's important not to beat yourself up over the setbacks - they are your son's setbacks, not your own. Now I need to try and believe what I preach, lol.
Peace,
Kiz

Sheri said...

Thank you so much for the kind words and good advice.

Sheri said...

Thank you so much for the kind words and good advice.

smackhead said...

Hi there, fortunately im not the parent of a addict but unfortunately the son of a addict(alcoholic) but thats beside the point. Addicted myself tho and all i can tell you is not to take failure up personally cause it doesnt matter how much you do and to how many clinics you send your child, the final choice is up to them(sad but true)and sometimes you feel so positive and motivated about sorting out your life BUT life has another plan for you, you can shout and scream at yourself about how bad this is for you, everything and everyone around you and all this while you are cooking up. Its freaking complicated, even more for the addict than for the parent. All my prayers. Smackhead
closet-junkie101.blogspot.com

Bristolvol said...

Hi Sherri,
I have not gotten the phone calls anymore, it's going on past 4 years now. But I remember, talking to my daughter and trying to have a relationship with her was always like walking on raw eggs. Yes, I miss my girl every day, but I don't miss walking on raw eggs anymore. I am sorry that you have to go through this. All you can do is try to take care of yourself. Your child will do whatever he feels like doing, regardless of what you do. It takes a long time to get used to this feeling. Unfortunately, we can't save them, we can only save ourselves.

Barbara said...

Its amazing what one phone call can do :(

Don't EVER beat yourself up. What Dad said in his comment is so true!

You're not alone, but I know sometimes it feels that way.

halfdozen said...

Hi Sherri, I too have a son who is an addict. Smoking percocet was his drug of choice. He has been clean for almost 5 months. I am cautiously optimistic. This is his 2nd go at it. Yes it is so hard not to second guess everything. It is tough hard and stinks but beats the alternative! As everyone says be good to yourself.Much easier said than done! Still have not figured how to do it myself! ending you sunshine.....

halfdozen said...

Hi Sherri, I too have a son who is an addict. Smoking percocet was his drug of choice. He has been clean for almost 5 months. I am cautiously optimistic. This is his 2nd go at it. Yes it is so hard not to second guess everything. It is tough hard and stinks but beats the alternative! As everyone says be good to yourself.Much easier said than done! Still have not figured how to do it myself! ending you sunshine.....